Monday, June 14, 2004

La Prefecture, American Style

Well my little lemon has finally been registered, so my fears of being pulled over and ticketed for not having a license plate are gone. And I guess that means the car is officially mine. Whohoo.

Drevs and I went to the DMV (I refuse to call it BMV, it's a DEPARTMENT, not a BUREAU!)to register our cars together. The only difference was Drevs has had her car for, oh, almost a year now. She's my kind of procrastinator.

But unfortunately Drevs got turned away because she was missing something. Poor Drevs. So I stayed and waited the two hours toute seule.

When you're sitting doing nothing you have a lot of time to think. And this is when I decided how much like the French we Americans are. We like to have stupid bureacratic rules ourselves.

When I finally got called up, the lady tells me I have to pay a $20 late fee because it's been over 30 days since I bought the car. Yes, well, it was really nice of them to remind of that fact, especially when I emailed and called them a gazillion times while in France to take care of this little problem and received no reply. EVER.

Anyway, so in response, I snapped my fingers Zorro style and said "No you DIT-ENT beeyatch".

Just kidding. I actually pulled out my passport and titre de sejour, along with my work papers and a bank statement showing that my address was no longer in Indiana for THE PAST NINE MONTHS. Cause dammitt, I can argue just fine in English, and I'm not afraid of you mean DMV lady!

So while I was protesting the late fee, Ms. Patriotic DMV lady sitting next to my "helper" was tutting about some man who mentioned what a backwards state Indiana was. Then she said to everyone around her, while shaking her Proud to Be an American bottlecap necklace, "If you don't like Indiana, then you should leave."

Yes, good plan.

Anyway, as if the whole patriotic spirit had caught on to the workers, the Patty/Selma-esque woman taking care of me said they would only make that sort of out of country exception for the military.

I'm convinced she was going to let me slide until she saw I was living in France.

But we'll never know.

Then she proceeded to have a "problem" with the title, apparently it had not been signed properly, so in her bitchy tone she says, "Well, I might have to void this out. And your total is ten million dollars, but I might just have to void this all out until you get the title fixed, and then your price will still be ten million dollars. Oh, and did I mention I might have to void this out? Things can get hairy like this when you buy cars on eBay. And, yeah, I might have to void this out."

Yeah B*tch. Let me show you just how hairy things can get...

In any case, another Patty/Selma esque woman took my title, was gone for 15 minutes, then told me everything was fine.

Whatever. Just give me my plate, DMV whore.

We have no room to say anything about the French bureaucracy.

And btw, I'm contesting my late fee. It's the principle. Not to mention $20 is a lot when you're poor.


At 5:31 PM, Blogger yayaempress said...

Ah, yes, more adventures at the DMV! It took me 3 trips to finally get things taken care of, but I'm now officially Mrs. Donna Bryant Cooper - only 1 1/2 years after the fact.


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